This past Sunday we celebrated the
first advent, which is the advent of hope.
Two years ago, at
Morning Out for Moms where I serve as a leader, that I broke down with the
weight of the depression I had been carrying.
It was a strange sense of failure, humility, fear, hopelessness and
relief all at the same time. I remember
days on end of fighting the desire to cry.
All I wanted was to let that flood gate open, but I would hold it back. On that morning I remember the feeling of that
floodgate breaking while standing in front of the whole group. I was terrified. What would people think if
they knew I was so broken? What would people think if they knew…if they knew
that in rare, but very dark moments, a deceptive voice would lie to me that I
was better off not being here? But on
that day, after I finally just let the truth come out, I was able to start the
road to healing. It took some time, but
there was finally hope – a light at the end of a long and dark tunnel. I would be okay. I was enough. I was worthy of love. I was valuable. I am, after all, the daughter
of a King!
Just a quick but
important interjection here: Mental illness, depression, and anxiety just to
name a few is a massive problem in our world right now. I am passionate about talking about it, and
seeing people get help. If you are in a
place right now where you need help with this, please talk to someone. I am always available, as well as many others
within this group that would be happy to help you get the help you need. There
is NO weakness in saying, “I’m not okay”.
Within that group
of women, we have cumulatively walked through a multitude of trials. There are those who have lost babies, who
have lost parents, who have lost jobs, who have been given devastating,
life-altering news, who have lost spouses, who have lost friends, who have
divorced parents, family feuds, children with special needs, who have faced
depression, who have lived in poverty, who have had suicidal thoughts, eating
disorders, chronic illness, and the feeling that they are completely alone
despite being surrounded by people almost all of the time.
It was for us,
for broken people, that Jesus came.
I never thought
very much about how the angels went first to the shepherds to tell of the birth
of Jesus. But the more I learn about
God, the more I see how the heart of Him is always turned to those who are considered
“the least”. Shepherds were humble men;
in fact, shepherds were looked down upon by many people. But Jesus came for all
people — rich and poor, male and female, popular and unpopular, successful and
unsuccessful. By announcing Jesus’ birth to the shepherds, God was
demonstrating His love for
every one of us, no matter who we are and no matter where we are.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul talks about how Jesus would say “My grace is all you
need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my
weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my
weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I
suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
If you are feeling weak today, there is hope. There is hope in God who says that when we
are weak, we can be strong through him.
If you are feeling depressed, weary or burdened today, there is hope in
God who says He will give us rest. If
you are anxious or worried, He asks you to cast your cares on Him. If you’re afraid, He says that he can give
you peace that passes understanding.
In my most depressed days, this message would still not have
actually given me hope. Sometimes the
darkness was just too great – and a message like this might have even made me
feel worse, because I would feel unable to say that I believed it. So if that
resonates with you, and you don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel right
now, here is God’s simple message of hope for you: You are valuable. You are
worthy. You are enough. You are not alone. You are special. You are wonderfully
made. You are not invisible. If you feel like the outcast, rejected, unworthy
shepherd left out in the pasture, remember that it is for you a host of angels
came to sing. You are the daughter of a King.
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